Bunnvale, NJ -- First photographed grazing the gritty, grimy chassis of a rusting S38-C receiver, this rogue juvenile Stegosaurus was easily subdued and dismissed as a “major disappointment” by junk Hallicrafters collector and veteran amateur radio operator/cryptobiologist, Retired Commodore Addison Voorhees II. "It's typical," groused Voorhees. "This new breed has no meat on its bones and no memories I care to share."

Voorhees continued, "To be sure, these small fry are big on retro radio. They'll quote Bob & Ray chapter and verse and rattle on about the Hallicrafters brand mystique - but are they old enough to remember when a ham license was a ham license and not a code-free ticket to ride the RF Superhighway of Self-Esteem?"

Reputed mentor of the Museum of Natural History's legendary dinosaur hunter Roy Chapman Andrews, Voorhees is said to have raised a orphaned Anklyosaurus as a childhood pet, hand-feeding it spoonfuls of primordial soup until the creature he named "Danny" became a housekeeping nuisance to the servants and had to be shipped off to a private island estate owned by family friend and author of The Lost World, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Undeterred by this ho-hum infestation of one of the world's most celebrated collections of as-is Hallicrafters radios, Voorhees vowed to continue his search for another living fossil that remembers the really good old days, so he can welcome a second member to his exclusive, toney Quarter Aeon Wireless Association.

"Gosh all hemlock it's toney but it's lonely," admitted Voorhees. "Now the Babylonians, those were operators who would never be caught dead receiving short wave signals on anything but a Hallicrafters. Lord knows it wasn't snobbery -- Hammurabi could afford anything to which he took a fancy, from McMurdo-Silver to Millen to Collins to every ziggurat and hanging garden his side of the Euphrates. But no, nothing else would do for the Sixth King of Babylon but Billy Halligan's handiwork, and that my good fellow, was that."

As part of his efforts to find a ham radio hobbyist old as himself and his Hallicrafters boat anchors, the devious retiree has set a trap, baiting a busted-up TW1000 with a host of items and substances known to attract truly elderly saurians.

"Oatmeal is their bacon," Voorhees insists. "Nevertheless, too much of the cereal can be problematic, exciting older dinosaurs to the point of unmanageability. I'll draw them in with just a handful of oatmeal, supplemented by a nice drab threadbare cardigan to calm them down."

With this dual bait system, Voorhees hopes to snare someone or something old enough to remember when radio was radio. And should the quarry happen to be a founding member of the A&P Gypsies Fan Club, assures the Commodore, "That would be utter gravy."