A stunning discovery has rocked the infomercial world of miraculous kitchen appliances. Until recently, the George Foreman Grill was considered by most to be the reigning world champion celebrity grill.

Buh-Bye, Champ.

Not even Nostradamus could see this one coming. Found on the wrong side of a Hohman, Indiana hamfest, beneath a stained tote of lightly-used but heavily-scented babyfood jar spare parts caddies, a deceptively boat anchor looking old radio has shocked experts and taken charge in the twinkling of a flipped burger. More than a standard issue Hallicrafters S-85, this working fossil of a prehistoric yet highly-evolved ham celebrity grill proved to be in near-perfect condition, all set to sizzle your drizzle well into the 21st century.

The Bill Halligan Grill has been dismissed as folklore by serious Hallicrafters collectors and miracle appliance mavens alike since anyone can remember,” mused Dr Turo Tanaka-Ginsu of the Ron Popeil Center For Advanced Study of All-in-One Kitchen Miracles. “No matter how well-know Mr. Halligan was among radio amateurs and defense contractors in his day, nobody would compare his recognition factor to that of say, actress/vocalist Kitty Carlisle, or Pittsburg Pirates third baseman Cookie Lavagetto. Back then every seven day bicylist and cockamamie fourth banana pitched grills. Crummy grills, sure! All of 'em! Fat everywhere. Impossible to clean. Some gave off xrays so bad you could see bones in your Reuben. Feh! I heard the stories about Bill's Grills. I wanted to believe, but you know what? I'm no moron, that's what! The thought of somebody buying, much less having the chutzpah to sell a Bill Halligan Grill frankly beggared belief. So I'm a moron, okay? I'm a wrong, wrong moron. I don't care. After careful testing under hot lights on our TV stage I'm convinced this four band beast is the grill too good to be true."

Chuckled the scientist, “It was a little like finding a unicorn ridden by a skunk ape controlled by subminiature grey aliens hiding in its racing silks, but better. And not just because The Bill Halligan Grill runs rings around the Foreman. By all means, it heats up quick and cooks fish like a sonofagun,” emphasized Tanaka-Ginsu.  “But check this out,” peering over his shoulder left and right before whipsering dramatically, “At night...it gets Radio Brazzaville!"


 

Amateur columnists and commentators are tripping over each other's flackery in the rush to capitalize on this savory new facet to the diamond legacy left by Hallicrafters’ innovative founder and twentieth century ham kingpin.

“We see the discovery of Bill’s Grill as a watershed moment in the rebirth of amateur radio” explained BoatIron Chef DX, hastily-appointed QST Now You're Cookin' With Tubes Contributing Editor. “In addition to six foot racks of new recipes, we’re rolling out a whole new handbook of mods to turn any vintage radio into a 500 pound countertop grill. And we've already come up a new twist the likes of which Chubby Checker never dreamed. Can't touch this -- we take a totaled Viking gas range and then chop it down and hack it back! To what kind of a rig Johnny Olson? A brand new... verry cherry...Johnson VIKING RANGER...One! Dude! A RANGER ONER with a tasty little goose in the plate modulation if you catch my drift."

With a gleam in his eye sparkling like bacon spatter, BoatIron Chef DX cited studies linking the consumption of hot snacks with the young, impulsive and impressionable. “Good eaters between 9 and 19 are key to growing the hobby." he insisted. “And now that we can offer them a viable platform of signal snacking convenience, amateur radio's exponential expansion is assured.

Bigger, younger, bigger!” exhorted BoatIron Chef DX. “You gotta BIG-IT in the bud!”

 

In a related story, newly optimistic, NASA planner/brand identity consultants have seized the “Bill’s Grill Buzz” to roll out revised spacecraft designs for their highly-proposed 2030 manned mission to Mars, after finally sussing-out how to land a ROOMBA on the surface of the Red Planet.

Ares Heavy Lift Booster

Modified Ares Heavy Lift Booster with wide load seating, extra cup holders and AHFCSBT (Auxilliary High Fructose Corn Syrup Belly Tank)

 

Bigger hams demand space furniture of width" proclaimed a Blue Ribbon panel of Mission Decor Vice Preseidents at a recent Penthouse Food Court presser high atop NASA's Washington headquaters.

“Every astronaut a ham, every pair of boots on Martian soil a pair of ham boots sprung like Shuttle Crawler-Transporters!” vowed the panel chairman who asked not be identified. When questioned why by reporters, the chairman made up new findings out of whole cloth suggesting, without exactly insisting, that Chubby hams were uniquely adapted to lower Martian gravity and significantly less likely to float away.

Point taken, agreed flustered reporters, who thanked their lucky stars they majored in Creative Literature and minored in NiceNetics, the new science without pesky right answers. Afterwards, the Cream de la Cream Food Product of Ameican Technological Journalism received zany space-themed NASA Goody Bags stuffed with Food Court Vouchers and were promptly shooed squealing from the building.