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Add very thinly sliced cucumber which is easier to deal with left unpeeled - but some folk insist the skin should be removed.

Season with Salt, White Pepper and a little vinegar.

Eat with the little finger slightly crooked so people think you are naturally posh.

(Alternatively the cucumber can be salted when sliced and left for a while (up to an hour but a few minutes will do).

The words "cucumber sandwiches" still conjure up images of refined ladies taking tiny bites of thinly sliced brown bread filled with delicately arranged cucumber. However, a lot of people don't like the taste of cucumber, whilst some will eat it if the skin is not peeled and others consider it inedible if it is. And very thinly sliced bread seems somewhat old-fashioned in today's world.

But the traditional cucumber sandwich lives on in some places; venues like garden parties, polo, tennis tournaments and some croquet clubs. Today's croquet players are more likely to be munching on a Big Mac or some tasty Fried Chicken during the lunch break but might indulge in the more genteel cucumber sandwich at afternoon tea. Here's how to make a decent cucumber sandwich:

Slice some brown bread as thinly as possible (Just plain brown bread, not the grainy stuff). If possible cut the crusts off the bread.

Spread slices of bread with best butter.

serving suggestion homebrewed in the Dashtoons Test Kitchen

Editor's note: On behalf of Chef Dash! and all his scullions, many thanks to Margaret and Eric ZL1GE for our first Feedline Feature Recipe.

Then rinse off the salt, dry cucumber on paper towel and then put on the buttered bread; add pepper and a little vinegar. (Doing it this way brings out the flavour of the cucumber without the actual sandwich tasting too salty)

Postscript: We have never been to an Amateur Radio function where cucumber sandwiches are part of the repast. Wonder why?

We wish to make clear at the outset this is not a test of the recipe's viability, but rather a test of our ability to do something, anything, remotely constructive outside the ham shack.

That point established, let's move on to our ingredients. The cucumbers were probably local in the northern hemispherical sense. The other components were either imported from Europe or cultured in the European manner from milk produced by cows fed a strict diet of shredded Proust.

Slicing and dicing was delegated to your own'umble cartoonist, who applied years of experience intently monitoring miracle knife commercials on late-night UHF and more recently cable television programming for which a promotional consideration has been paid. Funny how wasted youth, young adulthood and middle age can sometimes come in handy at the odd moment during early retirement.

Cucumbers sliced and crusts deftly removed with a flick of the blade, all that remained was a thumping good slather of butter and these wheaten canvases were ready for the tempermental artistry of Chef Dash! himself.

Without pause,the maestro opted for quadrifolic placement of the cucumbers. He claimed inspiration from the radiation pattern of crossed dipoles. After topping and halving the sandwiches into strips, Dash! added finishing touches with signature flair.


¥es, from their amusing garnish of glazed dogbones, to their wryly realistic marzipan 813 centerpiece set off by fresh Kiwi fruit, these curiously-refreshing cucumber sandwiches lightly celebrate Amateur Radio in proper Zed-L Special Style.


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