From Davos Returns.
Recent regime change in Washington rudely interrupted the fifteen-wine lunch of Dash! The Dog-Faced International Telecommunications Union Special Envoy to Davos 2017.
Easy come, easy go.
Over the holidays our unqualified ne'er do well was selected to represent American communications interests at a global meeting of elite movers and shakers because...well, it's unclear why, although according to Dash! it was HIS TURN.
After all, he did like Swiss cheese.
Throughout his life he has owned and lost countless Swiss Army knives.
And once or twice he attended a fondue party, which, like the previous points should have no bearing on anything. And yet off he went for a marathon of working banquets, catered massage empowerment sessions, and strategic advisories about new modalities of getting in and out of very expensive automobiles.
Dash! found himself getting into the ultra affluent swing of things, including a new wardrobe of berets and turtleneck sweaters, accessorizing with cigarette holders and certain carefee non-chalance that could only be described as on the cusp of depraved if he slid much further down that International Coffee of a slippery slope.
Frankly, we're relieved our little wanderer of an envoy was recalled and summarily cashiered, with nothing to offer the new, unified, happy-go-lucky Europe. Trouble is, he still parades around here in his dopey Eurowear like some elite lounge lizard who once wrote a one-act Existentialist play in 1959 and had a fling with Miou-Miou.
Getting that bee out of his bonnet could take a lot of ham radio. So we're going to double his dosage and have him sleep next to our Drake 2-B, leaving it set to 75 meter phone all night to cleanse his subconscious of the hoity-toity toxins, until he straightens up, starts asking for Cinna Sticks again, and quits talking like some former Secretary of State.
Mayan, not Mexican radio
Imagine our delight when previous client Mike AJ9C asked us to draw something Honduran for his Iguana Air Corps Contest Club 2016 foray into MesoHamerican airspace.
Oh boy, volcanos, iguanas, pyramids jutting out of the jungle, it doesn't get much more exciting unless end-fed wires happen to be part of the mix as well.
Playing radio someplace special?
We'd be tickled to help mark the occasion. Why not drop us a line and discover what we might draw for you?
Click our design pages here.
Hams Blank Fake News
When all else failed miserably in Washington to protect the Homeland from fake news, hacked presidential elections and like really strategic Vermont electric companies, it took but a few amateur radio operators and rocketeers to solve the problem on New Year's Day, 2017.
Hamland Security Systems is the latest private space venture, but worlds away from big-budget high-flyers like SpaceX, Blue Horizon and Virgin Galactic.
From a back yard launch facility in New York's Hudson River Valley, utilizing a whole bunch of Estes rocket boosters all tied together, HSS lofted an off-the-shelf Cold War era ham radio accessory into high polar orbit, effectively placing an impenetrable electronic tinfoil helmet over every square inch of our Glorious Affordable Lovely Mother Homeland.
"We were going to call ourselves "Gloriously Affordable Lovely Mother Homeland Security" to dramatize our advantage over the plain old Department of Homeland Security," exclaimed an HSS spokesperson who declined to be identified. "But then somebody suggested "Hamland Security Systems," which sounded all bluff and buff and Men in Black Tahoes and everything, only with ham radio, so we went with that."
HSS claims to have purchased the Woodpecker Blanker for just five dollars last summer at a local hamfest. To counter the growing strategic threat in the South China Sea, the group is currently modifying a second Woodpecker Blanker found in the basement of an abandoned S.S. Kresge Five & Dime.
"You couldn't beat Nicholls' patented Ninotchka Filter for blanking Soviet over-the-horizon radar interference," allowed an HSS geek who spoke in a funny voice for the purpose of anonymity. "But that whole Spratley thing is a different kettle of Kung Pao Shrimp. We can't reveal exactly what we're doing, but not for nothing, MSG is the new DSP."
Big Ham Media has its place by gee, but sometimes you want something fresh and off-beat yet professionally written and illustrated to boot. That's the beauty of the K9YA Telegraph eZine. For nothing? Really? RR! Not a penny. Sign up for your free suscription now. In the interest of transparency, K1NSS–yes me, there, I said it–does a fresh cartoon every issue exclusive to the K9YA Telegraph, because you never outgrow your need for ham radio funnies! Sign up now and join the fun.
Baffled Crypto-Bio Boffins Discover NORMAL HAM!
EXCLUSIVE TO DASHTOONS Loch Ness Scotland 12.16.16
Searching for the elusive Loch Ness Monster, a team comprised of the world's most distinguished crypto-biologists has announced their discovery of a mythical creature still more elusive.
"He's a ham all right," exclaimed team leader Dr. Buddy Canasta. "And we have every reason to believe he's the only normal Old Man in the world."
"We've seen his license, his shack, his 100 watt radio and dipole antenna. There were some QSL cards on the wall, a junk box with a few old radio parts, and a small stack of RADCOM back numbers, all the markers."
"Beyond that, his normality was jaw-dropping."
"We encountered him last week in a pub after a very long, very cold, wet, unlucky day out on the loch. No monster. Bupkis. So we head over to the Leaky Haggis for a few pops and there he was, telling somebody at the bar about talking to some guy in Pittsburgh. No big deal. Not like he was the cat's ass or anything, just small plain chat in an unpretentious pub, the kind of place that only serves one color of quinoa, deep-fried with blood sausage accompanied by an Irn-Bru ragù plated on newspaper. Keeps the New Money away."
"We didn't want to scare him off, so we discreetly asked a few patrons if this apparent ham was, you know, normal."
"Johnny? Normal? they said. Aye he's a right bastard! They all said about the same thing. Not a word of weird uttered against the Old Man. Sure, Johnny did a little ham radio, but it wasn't any bigger part of his life than brushing his teeth or admiring a sunset. Spent most of his spare time with the wife and kids. While he enjoyed a real ale or a wee dram now and then and placed a bet every so often, Johnny kept both feet on the ground to the envy of all Loch Ness. And trust me, for the sake of healthy custom, these people keep up a good face with all the loonies parading through town, but they know normal and amongst themselves take every opportunity to cherish it."
QSL design ©2016 N4DSP with permission
RemoteHamRadio is a dogbona fide Dash!Chum and Hudson Valley neighbor. Their Empire State HQ is just down the river from us and RHR has been among our corporate ham graphics clients.
K1NSS is QRV via RHR and we look forward to QSOing with you and many more new, old and yet unmet friends around the world.
If you'd like K1NSS QSL wallpaper, just work us and please drop us an SASE with yours. We're good in QRZ.
We love QSLs madly and enjoy all we receive.
This VKØEK Souvenir Penguin Mug is still waiting patiently for you. Or maybe you already have yours, but what a swell hammy holiday gift to celebrate your DX buddies' ATNO of a lifetime.
Imagine these little rascals waitin' on New One Soup all around your morning coffee or your late night DX-chasing cuppa caffeinated performance enhancer.
Big 15-ounce capacity, with a nice solid feel like all our other Dash!Mugs, these babies hang in for the long haul. Check 'em out now at our easy-peasy CafePress shop. And while you're there, take a gander at all our radio-based fun stuff designed by me, Jeff K1NSS, the joker who draws art for shacks.
Do You Write Ham?
Besides designing QSLs and logos for some of the world's smoothest operators, we illustrate book covers for some of amateur radio's best-known authors, including NO NONSENSE! Study Guide guy Dan Romanchik KB6NU and Ward Silver NØAX.
Our rates are easily affordable even if you're new to publishing, and we'll work with you for a splashy original current look that you'll own outright, no fuss or muss.
What's it like to work up a cover with us? Ask those FB OPs!