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So You Got Framed
Until now, hams had to go to jail to consult a jail house lawyer.

Since moving to the Sunshine State, my imaginary lawyer/radio playmate Dashiell Hammutt has been increasingly disturbed by the spiraling number of fellow Florida Hams getting a bum rap.

We hasten to emphasize Dash! is about as professional a lawyer as a professional radio operator. Full disclosure, he's a rank amateur, licensed to play nothing more than imaginary ham radio, and don't even think about asking him advice about your last will and testament. He just had that little bit of space left after BINGO and WILLS fit nicely and seemed kinda funny.

No, Dash!Defense is marginally better ill-equipped to handle that bad luck and trouble that inexplicably bedevils Florida Hams more than any other.

If it's not check-kiting related to UFO Grid Square Mega-Cult pyramid schemes, it's mini-mall loitering around charity thrift stores in search of classic Zenith Trans-Oceanic shortwave portable radios for a $1.50.

For some zany reason, Florida Hams get swept up in the Flordia Man meme hysteria, and before you know it, they're giving Morse code classes to heavily-tattooed recidivist car thieves in a desperate attempt to make the best of a terrible misunderstanding.

The more we think about it, the less we recommend Dash!Defense a source for artisanal legal advice.

No offense, not that you for a second considered giving him a call. But just in case he calls you, hang up, because, this whole thing is just a pretext for bending hams'ears about the Reptilians behind FT8.