Good News Got Better.
Contrary to an unprecedented whispering campaign, recent studies have shown those who take up ham radio stand less chance of turning into a silverfish than ever before.
Double-blind trials at the Truth About Ham Radio Foundation recently proved conclusively that seventy-eight percent of those in good health who eat a well-balanced diet and get plenty of exercise will likely become asymptomatic silverfish after receiving an amateur radio license. So they won’t try to scuttle down a drain when somebody turns on a light. Or feel uncomfortable at parties, overcome with a compulsion to scurry into the punchbowl and graze residue on its rim.
Seventy-eight percent out of a hundred ain’t bad, eh? And if you discount outliers, hypochondriacs and outright liars just throwing shade, that’s close enough to one hundred percent for Truth About Ham Radio Foundation clinical trials.
All right, so genetically speaking, ham radio may alter your DNA just enough to make you a crypto-silverfish, but it won't show. And you'll behave just like any other human being, albeit spending a lot to time cooped-up in a little room hearing voices and having reasonably brief conversations with these disembodied voices.
So lay it on the line with ham radio-denying friends and family. Share this article, look ‘em in the eye and tell ‘em, “Now that you’ve done the reading and the math, isn’t it time you followed the science?” |
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